Sarah's Scribbles

The Year of Months

Is This Gypsy-Soul Slowing Down?

It's the first day of Walk Month and it was rainy and gross all day! The universe has a dark sense of humor. The bottom of my pants are still wet. And cold.

As most of you know, there is a good chance I will soon get a job offer to work with AB (but for another company) in Jacksonville. Over the past few days I've been noticing a strange feeling - one that I'm not used to so I wasn't quite sure what it was until today.

And here it is: I don't really want to leave Orlando. As someone who has always shirked anything that resembled any kind of permanence, this bothers me. Again, as most of you know, I've lived in many many places and have never considered any of them 'home.'

Orlando is certainly not the best place I've ever lived. Gainesville was more fun. St Louis had better food and more culture. Central New York was GORGEOUS in the fall and the people made me feel at home despite living in a hotel. The Keys and Guam were practically paradise. Even still, I was thrilled to leave all those places. Well, more accurately, I was thrilled to go somewhere else. The adventure and uncertainty of a move to a new city has always energized me, so why not now?

After walking around with wet and rapidly cooling feet, I came up with a theory. As odd as it sounds, it may all be thanks to my under/unemployed status since I've moved here. Not having much money to spend, I've had to focus on other aspects of life - to keep me sane. I have some pretty fantastic friends in this town - both new and old. Jasper is a constant and loyal companion who I've been growing closer to every day. I have two great writer groups in town that are helping me focus on developing my writing. I now notice when it's a beautiful day outside and I feel compelled to celebrate it.

If that's the truth - that focusing on things like my friends, Jasper, writing and my surroundings has made me happier - then there really is no reason why I couldn't find the same happiness in another town, but still I'm reluctant. Maybe I haven't felt like I belonged to any other place I've lived because there is only one place (or maybe a few) that I belong. If Orlando feels like my home (something no other place has accomplished), should I be so quick to leave it?

The question all of you want to know is if I receive that job offer, will I take it? Probably. I'm not stupid. This economy sucks and a well-paying job is hard to come by. I have bills to cover, debts to pay off, a fantastic dog to feed.

Even if I have to leave 'home' to do it.

2 comments:

Great post! Good luck with the offer!

 

President Sarah,

I totally understand what you mean. I'm finally to that point in my life where I, too, want to just 'settle down' even though it goes against everything I grew up with!

Also, we will miss you a whole lot, but you are correct that you really have to go where the jobs are. We know your heart really is here with us ;-). Love you!!