Q: What's the difference between cats and compound sentences?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws; the other has a pause at the end of its clause. (read it out loud)
An analogy (said to my friend Erin while we were lost in Jax and we had just passed Commonwealth Ave): Commonwealth is to Andromeda as the Federation is to Star Trek.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Little Jimmy was a chemist,
Now little Jimmy is no more,
Because what he thought was H20
Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "The usual, Descartes?"
Descartes replies "I don't think.." and disappears.
Asexual reproduction is for pansies
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, "For you? No charge."
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
Oh gosh, that last one makes me laugh so hard! That's all I have for you today! Hope you enjoyed them!
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